We are humans and all humans are not alike.
We come from diverse backgrounds. We have been through different experiences in our life. We have different beliefs and perspectives. It means that we all are different.
Accepting these differences is crucial to stop us from becoming a judgemental person. But, some individuals don’t approach these differences with an open mind. They struggle to accept them.
These individuals judge and try to find fault in others.
It’s true that judging others is human nature and we all judge others here and there. I’m guilty too for being judgemental sometimes.
However, if someone judges others a lot and takes it as a fun activity or a habit, it’s a problem. It’s stressful and emotionally draining for their victims.
It’s important for you to identify a judgemental person around you so that you can take necessary actions at the right time.
So, let’s go through the traits and behaviors of these people.
Judgemental people’s main trait is that they are inclined to form quick opinions.
They don’t take time to understand different scenarios or perspectives. They don’t try to gather full information. They just make assumptions based on limited information, biases, or external appearances.
They may get this limited information from a person, media outlets, social media, news, or what they hear or see.
Judgemental people while judging others may use words like “stupid”, “untrustworthy”, “evil”, “corrupt”, “not deserving”, “immoral”, etc.
Judgemental people have their own sets of rights and wrongs and what works and what not. So when their personal standards don’t match with the person they are dealing with, they judge and criticize that person.
They tend to force their own personal standards and worldviews on others. They think their way is the right way. They struggle to understand that the other person is different and her worldview and perspectives are different.
Judgemental people believe that what they think, what they say, what they do, and how they behave are morally superior to others.
With empathy and understanding, you can perform healthy interactions with other people.
Judgemental people lack empathy and understanding towards other people. So, they may struggle to understand your viewpoint or perspective. They may struggle to feel empathy towards yours’ actions or behaviors. They may not understand your choices.
Due to lack of empathy and understanding, a judgemental person starts to feel biased. They make generalized comments or discriminate against entire groups of people.
Judgemental people think or behave as a perfectionist.
They want things to be done in a specific way and their expectations are very high or unrealistic. If you don’t do things according to them, they may become critical or judgemental. You fail if you don’t do things as per their set standards.
Judgemental people judge others because they feel fear and insecure.
Why? Because, they may feel threatened if your viewpoints don’t match theirs. They will take it as a challenge. They may feel threatened if you are different than them.
To counter it, they may judge or criticize you harshly to put you back in your place. This way, they feel superior. By judging others, they protect themselves from discomfort, fear, and insecurity. They hide their vulnerabilities.
According to judgemental people, everything in this world should be in absolute terms. They just think in black and white and no shades of gray.
When they think in black and white, they refer to ideas, situations, and other people in extreme terms. Like, absolutely right or wrong, entirely good or bad, and there is no middle ground. They don’t consider complexities and differences with open-mindedness.
Such thinking and behaviors limit them and make their perspectives narrow and flawed.
Judgemental people have high standards and expectations. So, if you don’t meet them, they scrutinize you. They criticize your behavior, beliefs, and choices.
However, when it comes to them, they fail to scrutinize themselves. They don’t try to put themselves to those high standards. Highly judgemental people don’t question their beliefs, actions, or choices.
As they may not be able to see their own shortcomings, you can recognise them by their hypocritical behavior.
Judgemental people love gossiping and don’t spare a chance to spread rumors about others.
It doesn’t matter if the rumor is untrue. They may not look into the details or find out the truth about it. They just spread it without considering it. They tend to ignore its negative or harmful consequences. They may not think about how it may hurt the other person.
They feel a kind of satisfaction when they gossip or spread rumors, as it gives them a sense of superiority.
If you have made any past mistakes, they may find it difficult to forgive you.
They may struggle to release their anger towards you. They may find it hard to forget about the negative emotions associated with your wrongdoings or mistakes.
As they hold grudges for you, any situation or things that reminds them about past mistakes, they may criticize or judge you. They keep looking for opportunities to take their revenge.
Due to their unforgiving nature, your relationship with them can suffer. As they harbor resentments and negative emotions, it’s challenging for them to reconcile with others.
Do you have different ideas than theirs? They may not tolerate you as you are challenging their ideas. Judgemental people love their ideas.
Do you have different perspectives than theirs? They don’t care. Their perspectives matter and they will judge and criticize you for having different perspectives.
Do you have different lifestyles than theirs? They may judge you because their lifestyle is better and your lifestyle is worthy of criticism.
Do you have a different appearance? They will judge you as you are guilty of having that kind of appearance. It’s intolerable.
Judgemental people’s intolerance to differences comes from their narrow mindsets. They only give importance to their own views and values. Anything that deviates from these standards is not acceptable to them. They are quick to dismiss your viewpoints or values. And, they can use derogatory terms towards you.
Judgemental people actively look for faults in others.
If you have any flaws or imperfections, they point it out quickly. If you commit even a minor mistake, they point it out.
If they see any shortcomings in your character, they can target it and judge you based on it.
A judgemental person just focuses on what you do wrong rather than what you do right.
Their fault-finding behavior creates a negative environment where you are constantly being criticized and scrutinized.
Judgemental people don’t like receiving feedback. Whenever you give them feedback, they become defensive and dismiss them.
When you try to give constructive feedback to a judgemental person, he/she takes it as a personal attack. They may attack you back by finding faults in you and diverting the conversations.
As they don’t listen to your feeback with an open mind, you may find it difficult to express yourself honestly. In such situations, it’s hard to maintain a healthy and understanding relationship.
I hope the above mentioned key traits will help you identify if there is any judgemental person in your life right now.
It is necessary to identify them, as their traits and behaviors have negative and harmful effects on both themselves and yourselves.
However, please note that it’s not necessary that a judgemental person have all of the above traits and different persons can be a mixture of different set of traits.
So, understand them before taking any actions. Also, see if your own thoughts towards them are not judgemental. Communicate with an open-mind and try to resolve issues first. Give them time and see if things are working out.
If not, then you have all the rights to take necessary actions to save yourself from the negative environment.
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