The Psychology of People Who Lack Integrity

How do we recognize a person with integrity? Watch carefully if their words, actions, and beliefs match. When these align consistently, we see integrity clearly.

Consider the example of Ashok Khemka. He was a retired IAS civil servant from India. He was an honest officer and didn’t take bribes, despite being harassed. He was transferred 57 times during his work tenure of 33 years.

That’s what we call integrity. He didn’t compromise with his values and beliefs. Authorities and people in power punished him by not promoting him for a long time.

But he didn’t give in. He chose to suffer instead of bowing to powerful people.

What Goes On Inside People Who Lack Integrity?

Not everyone lacking integrity intentionally harms others.

From outside, they appear well-organized, composed, and stylish on the outside. But from inside they are someone else. There is a deep disconnection between who they want to be and who they actually are.

Some of these people are driven by insecurity. To be admired or accepted by others, they create an impressive persona. However, when pressured or uncomfortable, they quickly abandon their promises to regain control or comfort.

Others are driven by entitlement. They believe rules apply only to others, not themselves. To them, getting money, attention, or admiration justifies any action, even if it crosses boundaries.

Lastly, some grow up around moral confusion. As a child they may have watched adults lying, dodging accountability, or rewarding dishonesty. As adults, integrity becomes optional because that’s what they have learned.

Yet, these people hardly see themselves as wrong or bad. They justify their actions using excuses like:

• “I had no choice.”
• “Everyone does it.”
• “I’m doing it for a good reason.”

These rationalizations help them maintain a positive self-image despite their actions.

Let’s Spot the Signs of Low Integrity

People who lack integrity rarely announce themselves. They often wear masks. Masks of kindness, competence, charm, or even victimhood. That’s why it is hard to detect them until the damage is already done.

But their patterns leave clues if you know where to look. Let’s look into what are the common signs:

1. Their Words Don’t Match Their Actions

They are sweet talkers and say things like:

• “I’m always here for you. Just call me.”
• “Honesty is everything to me. I take it very seriously.”
• “When it comes to treating people, I treat them equally. I respect them all.”
• “I would never betray someone’s trust.”

But when you test them, their actions hardly match. When you expect loyalty from them in your hardest times, they vanish. When you expect that they honestly admit their mess, they deflect. When you expect a small sacrifice, they avoid it.

2. Low Integrity People Show Inconsistent Behavior

They behave differently with different people. Put low integrity people among the powerful people and see how they do their best to flatter them. And with those people who they see less important, they simply disrespect them.

They pretend to agree with people whoever they are with. If they tell the same story to different people, it will not be consistent. They judge the room and shift their opinions dramatically based on who is in the room.

In personal relationships, they may speak kindly to your face but mock you behind your back. When they are with their friends, they may say something like, “I’m just having fun with them. There is no long-term plan. They are too emotional and needy.”

This inconsistency reveals a desire to please others and avoid accountability.

3. They Shift Blame and Make Excuse

One of the clearest signs of low integrity is that they don’t take genuine responsibility. When they do something wrong, they rarely say, “I was wrong.”

Instead, they love to blame others. Blame circumstances. Blame misunderstandings. It works for them as a defense mechanism to protect their fragile self-image.

They don’t like accepting blame. Because if they do, it would mean confronting their own flaws. And for people who lack integrity, that feels too threatening. So, they push the responsibility on others, often subtly.

Making excuses goes hand-in-hand with blame shifting. Rather than outright denying their mistake, they might say things like:

“I was just tired.” “I didn’t mean it like that.” “It wasn’t that serious.”

By saying such statements, they erode their accountability. They don’t worry about the consequences, so they avoid genuine responsibility at all costs.

4. They are Manipulative

Low integrity people don’t like owning their mistakes. They don’t like taking feedback. So they avoid it not through logic, but through emotional manipulation. Here are some manipulative behavior they can show:

• Niceness: They use niceness as a mask to hide their manipulation games. You may find them overly kind, helpful, or agreeable in the early stages of a relationship. You feel like you can trust them. You can rely emotionally on them. But this kindness is just a strategy to control or gain advantage.
• Selective Honesty : Selective honesty is the art of revealing just enough truth to appear honest. If they share their personal stories, they omit some parts. If they confess something, it’ll be a half-truth. If they say they are talking from the heart and being honest, it’s not true.
• Emotional Games: They love to play emotional games to avoid confrontation. They use guilt. They play the victim. They act hurt. They do it all to deflect accountability. They create emotional confusion so that you can’t question them.
• Moral Rationalization: Low integrity people don’t see themselves as bad or unethical. They genuinely believe that every action they take is justified. Every time they want you to accept their questionable behavior, they twist logic. Instead of admitting they crossed a line, they reframe it. They call cheating as “being strategic” and lying as “protecting someone’s feelings.”

5. They Obsess About Their Reputation

Low integrity people care deeply about their reputation, but not how they actually behave.

Their primary concern is managing their image. They want to curate a version of themselves that looks good to the world. Whether it’s in social settings, workplaces, or online, they put energy into appearing ethical, kind, or competent.

But this effort is superficial—a facade. They talk about values and honesty in public, but behind closed doors, their actions don’t reflect those values.

This obsession with reputation is usually driven by fear. They fear being exposed. They fear being rejected. They fear losing control.

Criticize them and they get defensive. They overreact if they percieve something or someone as disrespectful. They become quite aggressive when it comes to protecting their good name. They will do their best to deny the truth or hurt others.

How to Deal With Them

To protect yourself:

• Observe Carefully: Watch their actions closely and don’t fall for their charming words. If they make big promises or sweet talk, become alert. Pay attention to their repeated behaviors. If you consistently feel confused or stressed around them, trust your instincts.
• Set Clear Boundaries: Don’t try to change and fight with them. Limit your interactions and stop sharing sensitive information. Maintain emotional distance.
• Avoid Emotional Debt: Some people say they will change just to keep you from leaving. They say what you want to hear, but their actions never catch up. If you keep forgiving them, you will never heal. You will stuck in a cycle. It’s like giving low integrity people emotional loans that are never repaid. It will drain you.

In the end, prioritize your integrity. While you can’t control others’ behavior, focus on maintaining your standards. It will ensure that you remain trustworthy and respected.